On a random cloudy Wednesday afternoon, sitting alone on your bed while listening to music, you accidentally discovered the existence of a pure being of lyrical genius in the form of a human, Will Wood. I’m not even exaggerating when I’m saying this, but if my life were an album, it would be the entirety of Will Wood’s discography. If you have read the 13th edition of ECHOES, our department’s magazine, you must be familiar with Will Wood because I have already talked about one of his albums on the Album Review Section of ECHOES. Worry not if you haven’t because I will introduce you to what I call the God of words (Will Wood). I’m a huge fan of his, so it might be a little biased, but who cares? The recurring theme of Will Wood’s songs are about the daily struggle of a broken person (read: damaged individuals with disorders), so it’s kinda rhetorical if you ask me why I like his songs. Being wordy is one of the main characteristics of his songs. I've talked about “The Normal Album” on ECHOES (totally not promoting my other articles from different platforms, but please read it.) However, instead of talking about the entirety of his album, I will do a deep dive of each song that personally resonated with me (basically all songs, so bear with me.) I will start from the album titled “In case I make it,”. Even from the title alone, you can already tell how poetic he is. In case I make it with a comma “,” indicating that he himself doesn’t even know whether he will make it or not so he didn’t end it with a period ”.” but with a comma instead. Bam! Let’s start with my most favorite song from this album, Against The Kitchen Floor. (p.s. Will Wood himself already said that his songs can be interpreted freely according to each listener. This is my personal interpretation of this song, feel free to discuss it with me if you have another interpretation).
“I don't owe you my heart And I don't owe you my body But you should know that I'm sorry For being careless with you Lord knows I owe you more” I’m seeing two aspects here, the heart being the metaphor of mental and the body being the metaphors of the physical body. He owed both of them nothing but he felt sorry for being careless to them (meaning that he hasn’t been taking care of both of his physical and mental health). It’s debatable whether this first passage is talking about himself or another person, I think both interpretations are alright. “Than I'm pretty sure I ever could give anybody But I can't pin down what normal people want from foreign objects Bottom shelf erotic products like me” It becomes more apparent in this passage that he’s talking about someone else. Feeling not good enough for someone who is “normal” to be with a “bottom shelf erotic product” like him, showing how he felt undeserving of love and attention. “So, I could hold your hand, but keep you at arm's length Or hang me from a branch too high to climb and shake Less rare than scarce, less diamond than rough Unlikely to be more than just the coal you fail to crush, and” He wants to accept that love. He wants to love and to be loved, but he’s afraid so he accepts that love while keeping it at arm’s length, showing how he is afraid of commitment. I swear, I'm really trying Get it together, Will, know and do better It just don't come natural to me to think that you'd want me for mе I swear, I'm really trying Oh, I'm sorry, I promise, I'm doing my best I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet I have tried everything, and I still am trying, I’m trying to get better. Knowing that someone would want me for me, the real and broken me. No matter how hard I try to believe that your love is genuine, I still feel undeserving of your love. I’m not a human like you (so full of disorders and can’t love normally, unlike you). I still don't know who you are I only know that I'm still lonely That morbid sort where even company can't cure me And the more you reassure, the less I trust Even with you loving me, I still feel lonely. Not even professional help (psychologist and psychiatrist) can help me to solve this pain. The more you prove that you love me for who I am, the more I feel undeserving of your love. But still you gave me your heart I only gave you my body Honestly thought nobody'd want it, let alone notice it's gone And so I left it home, but now, now, now, now Even after everything, you still gave me your everything. I’m not even capable of loving you fully because I’m afraid. I had never thought that someone would want me, let alone care about me. “And so I left it home.” I’m too afraid to get attached to you. I keep a locket with a picture of the back of my head Oh, monkey-wrench my side view mirrors, ghost my friends I've lived more lives than enough, I haven't died quite as much But I'm not a real person, just the shit you can't make up, and I feel like I'm dying inside, and I’m not even worthy to be called a human or a real person. That is how bad and broken I am, a shit that you can’t make up. I swear, I'm really trying I'm just as exposed if I take off my clothes When we make the closest thing to love that I'm capable of And I don't know why you would care But I'm really trying Oh, I'm sorry, I promise, I'm doing my best I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet I’m really desperate, I’ve tried everything, I’ve tried my best. However, no matter how hard I try I feel undeserving of your love. Did I really have any of that gravity? Maybe you're quicksand Because I really couldn't tell How deep my footprints went You’re like a quicksand that sucks me really deep and now I’m really attached to the point where I don’t even know how deep I’m into you. The vertex of my redemption arc The searching on that virgin heart I'm catatonic in your arms Crying, "How did I cause so much harm?" Catatonia, a neuropsychiatric syndrome characterized by abnormal movements, behaviors, and withdrawal, is a condition that is most often seen in mood disorders but can also be seen in psychotic, medical, neurologic, and other disorders (National Library of Medicine). All of these disorders cause so much harm to the people around me. Having disorders means you will hurt yourself and the people around you against your will. It just can’t be helped, it’s gonna be hard for both the person with the disorders and people around them. I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours Don't say "I'm sorry, but this can't go on" I know you've got scars of your own But hide my knives before you go I'll either live or die alone I’m sorry that I’m the person that you have to know and get attached with. I know your life would be better if only you hadn’t met me. However, as much as I want to, I can’t say goodbye to you. I love you so much, please don’t leave me. It’s so hard to the point that I would either live or die alone. I swear, I will die trying I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress I promise, I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible I swear, I'm so fucking sorry I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all I’m really sorry… I do… I’m trying my best. I know that I’m a bad person, I don’t even deserve to be called as a person
And write a fucking song about it 'Cause it has to be all about Will's fucking drama God damn it Sorry Fuck, I'm sorry This one is Will Wood’s personal ending statement to the song. I know it might seem like a joke on the surface level, but on a deeper level he felt sorry that he had to pour all of these feelings into his songs. He felt like he shouldn’t have been this dramatic. No, Will, your feelings are valid and your music is my ecstasy. In conclusion, Against the Kitchen Floor by Will Wood is about the feeling of insecurity and undeserving of love as a person with mental disorders. We’re just too broken to actually learn how to love and to be loved. We’re desperate and we’re dying, but no one could ever really fit under our skin. This song will be my life’s anthem. What do you think about the song? Reference
- Burrow, Jeffrey P., Benjamin C. Spurling, and Raman Marwaha. “Catatonia.” StatPearls - NCBI Bookshelf, May 8, 2023. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK430842/.
- Wood, Will. “Against the Kitchen Floor.” In Case I Make It,, Spotify.
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