The Four Phases of Life Inspired by Rupi Kaur

Four phases of life inspired by Rupi Kaur

Borrowing Rupi Kaur's phases in Milk and Honey, there are four parts of life; the hurting, the loving, the breaking, and finally, the healing. They are related to one another. Therefore, for the next few minutes, let's break them down into simpler pieces.

Come as the pioneer is the hurting. This stage will not be our favorite time, and I know that. We are not longing for the feeling of pain—no one does. Nevertheless, it's the very first step of life. Let me show you why by giving these questions; how did you come to this world if not by your mother's sacrifice? How could you finally ride a bike if you had never fallen from it the first time you tried? How did you enter your current campus, if not by your everyday hustles? Well, the pain might seem awful, but it is indeed the primary gateway to the next beautiful chapter; the loving.

After some moments of fighting and dealing with struggles, we can finally meet the loving phase. This time is the most delightful among the others. All of the hard works and pains in the previous chapter have finally paid off. You have achieved 'The Most Outstanding Student' title in your major; you have ended your single status; you can mobile easily since you have got your driver's license—not Olivia's song, of course; and many other examples of good things' arrival. If couples can lend their term to me, I'll name this as the honeymoon stage. Nonetheless, everyone knows that the honeymoon doesn't last forever. There will come another level, the harder and worse one, which will force you to learn.

Here comes the breaker, the monster of the four phases of life. Just like its name, the breaking moment will snap you into pieces. It's where you have to face the disappointments, the heart-breaks, and the bitterness of life. The lovey-dovey part will not suddenly appear and help you coloring your book. Instead, the anger, rage, sadness, and many other negative feelings will happily be your guests. As I have experienced it myself, I tend to question all things, even my existence, right now. "Why do I have to go through these thunders and storms? For what reason did God decide to put me under this hard time? How can I overcome this painful circumstance if I am just dust?" Well, whatever question comes into your mind while being in the breaker moment, remind yourself one thing. Things will get better, or at least, you will learn something from them. In other words, you will heal—maybe not now, but you definitely will.

The last part that appears on one occasion is the healing. It comes as the closing phase. You have been hurt, known how to love, and been broken into pieces, but you are still steadily standing on both of your feet. You are the real hero. This time, let this chapter heals your wounds. Anyway, the healer does not always in the form of medicines. It can be your long-lost best friend who finally reaches out after years of chasing their dreams. It can also be a good book that you found in an old book store which will comfort you when no one is willing to do that. Or, if by any chance, your private healer is yourself; your late-night thoughts; your kindness; and your very own understanding of life. Whatever the form is, you will get over the bad things.

To shorten the paragraphs above, I will begin by telling that some of you might have been through life's four stages once, or maybe multiple times. However, the last part—the healing—is not the ending. There will come another cycle but with a different theme. You will experience everything from the hurting, the loving, the breaking, and the healing all over again. I wish you tons of energy and spirit to embrace the life ahead because c'est la vie, isn't it? (*)

Writer: Wahyuningtyas K. Wibowo

Editor: Hasna F


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