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Humans are social creatures; hence the need to always connect with others. Be it in the form of communication between two people, or even a community built by society. However, some people find it hard to socialize and make friends. It is also a part of human nature, after all, to feel reluctant to approach someone first. We are afraid that the response given is not like what we had rehearsed in our heads before, or that we will run out of topics to talk about and the room will be filled with awkward silence. At the end of the day, sometimes we even find the need to force ourselves to mingle with the ongoing conversation so that we do not feel left out. Though it kind of feels insincere, trying to fit in actually has its own perks.
As we enter college, encounters with unfamiliar faces become almost inevitable. It is a place that gives students a chance to meet new people, not only those in the same major but also across faculties. The challenge then is how to feel like we belong in a certain friend group or community. Trying to fit in allows us to get to know different kinds of people, even if they do not always turn out to be the ones we connect with. Of course, we need trial and error in order to find people within the same frequency as ours. Maybe we will get to know someone who frowns upon our jokes, or someone who utters references we have never heard before. However, those people we meet along the journey of finding the right ones deserve to be honored. Who knows that those people can lead us to our soon-to-be friends with better connections? Trying to fit in can actually open your door to more relationships, both those who are only going to be acquaintances and those who will be friends for life.
Some of us are most likely to have been stuck in conversations about topics outside our usual interests. People often choose to stay quiet and let themselves be left out of the conversation. But it does not hurt to try to engage with a conversation that might introduce us to something new, right? Imagine your friends start talking about the new episode of an anime you have never watched. Instead of looking around or scrolling through your phone with no notifications, you can actually join the conversation. You can ask how the episode went or which characters you would like. Who knows, after you leave the gathering, you might still be curious about the conversation and start watching the anime you never thought you would watch, and eventually develop an interest in it. The next time you meet them, there will be new things to talk about, and you can even lead the conversation with things you have just discovered.
The newly found interests can then help you learn more about yourself. You begin to see which things actually suit you, and which ones do not. The same goes for the friends you have gotten to know. You can see which friends you can spend hours with and feel comfortable being yourself around, and which friends are better off as acquaintances. What about friends and interests that you do not find amusing? Will they go down in history as your “Top 10 Wasting Time Activities”? If you only see the bad in these experiences, you may miss how they can actually help you understand yourself better. Without you realizing it, you might find yourself adapting someone’s way of speaking, even if you no longer talk to that person. On another day, you might suddenly find yourself knowing the rules of a football game you never even watch. These experiences, along with the people you have spent time with, will never go to waste. Although they may not fit your puzzle piece, they still helped shape who you are today.
Although trying to fit in may sound like an effort that is too forced, that does not necessarily make it a bad thing. Sure, it can be exhausting, especially for those who are not used to making small talk. But those exchanged talks, hours of hangouts, and dozens of people once filled your days. Even if they do not stay forever, they still leave something behind. Still, no one obliges you to pretend that you enjoy a conversation that makes you uncomfortable. You can leave the function anytime you want, and knowing when to leave also shows that you respect yourself by understanding what suits you best. Fitting in does not mean forcing yourself to belong everywhere. Sometimes, it simply means being willing to step into a place you are not familiar with, talk to people you have never met before, and try something you have never done. You might find that some of them fit you, while others do not. But again, it never hurts to try.
Journalist: Aurania Adhyaksa
Editor: Aissah Nindy Putri Krisdianto
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