Growing up, I used to seek validation through everything and everyone around me. To make sure that whatever I was doing and about to do was fine, that I was doing good, and I did great. That I could conquer every obstacle I would face because back then, I was not very sure of myself. I doubted myself so bad that it obstructed me from growing. I was trapped by my doubt and fear that it controlled me from doing what I always wanted to do. My life was controlled by doubt and fear until I finally realize that what I had been feeling is what people called self-doubt. 

Before all of these, I was not aware of how harmful self-doubt can be. I thought that every doubt I had in my mind was indeed the truth, but in fact, my mind was not always right. So, in this article, I want to encourage you to recognize your doubt so that it won’t prevent you from growing to be the better version of yourself by defining self-doubt, knowing what causes it, and how to overcome it. 

Defining Self-doubt

Self-doubt can be described as a state of uncertainty regarding one or more aspects of ourselves. A feeling when we feel uncertain about the truth of anything: our thoughts, decisions, self-views, beliefs, or any “truth” that we have in our minds (Davis, n.d.). It is said that it is normal to experience self-doubt whenever we encounter new or challenging situations, but it does not mean that self-doubt is harmless.

Jennice Vilhauer (2020) in her article wrote that self-doubt stops us from being secure enough to dream bigger and take action to develop ourselves to live the life we always want to live. It prevents us from chasing our goals. Ultimately, if it gets too much, it can make us feel overwhelmed, anxious, unable to make clear decisions, demotivated, emotionally unstable, lack of self-esteem, and worse it can lead to depression. But, she also stated that “what most people do not realize is that self-doubt is caused by a chronic pattern of thinking that, once we know how, can be shifted.”     

So, what causes self-doubt?

Based on Jennice Vilhauer’s statement in the previous paragraph, self-doubt is caused by a chronic pattern of thinking that we can control our thoughts once we are aware of how to do it. In addition to that, she also stated that there are two basic ways of thinking that lead to self-doubt: negative self-talk and selectively filtering our environment with a situation where it matches up with our negative self-image. 

“It is inevitable that if your head is filled with a loud inner critical voice and you are always looking for evidence to confirm that self-view, you will be filled with self-doubt.”

Another source also noted that it could also be caused by our prior negative experiences in life or from our attachment style issues. Those who grow up with insecure attachments may undergo things that can lead to self-doubt later in life. 

“If someone has been told in the past that they’re “not good enough” or incapable of something, then this can have a large negative effect on their self-worth. We also have a deep societal pressure to achieve, which can be more harmful than motivating for us.” 

Why should we know about self-doubt? How do we handle it?

After all of the research I did and the experience I have been through, I can say that being aware of the existence of self-doubt is important for us. If you are aware of its existence in your mind, you won’t be controlled by the doubt you have in mind. So, we will finally realize that we are the ones who are in control, not the other way around. 

You may wonder what we should do to handle self-doubt. But, worry no more! I am here also to give you some tips to overcome self-doubt! But before that, please take note that not all the steps I give will probably help you. If you find yourself still having a hard time quieting your mind from doubt, I recommend you to reach out and get professional help. 

Below are 8 steps you could do to overcome self-doubt!

1. Stop the negative self-talk 

Remember that we are the harshest critics of ourselves. Negative self-talk is the inner critical voice that scolds you harshly by saying things you would never say to anyone else besides yourself. You can stop this voice by noticing it first, then talking back to it. Every time you acknowledge your inner critic and talk back to it, the more control you will get over your mind. Please remember that the inner critic is not your authentic voice, it is not the reality. It is shaped by outside influences, such as your environment, society, people’s expectations, and even your family.

2. Surround yourself with supportive people

You can do this step by finding yourself a mentor or someone you trust to ask for advice, or simply just letting your heart out. Besides that, it is also important to have a group of supportive people. People that know your worth, support you, and encourage you to do better. People that want to grow together with you, because having a toxic surroundings could lead to insecurity, negative self-talk, and self-doubt that could prevent you from growing.  

3. Forgive yourself